Bitter Sweet.

let's start this blog off right : first and foremost todays is my eighteenth birthday sooo happy birthday to me . i'm mad excited actually ; i have the greatest friends&family members who stayed up until it hit 12 in the a.m countdown was priceless loves .

alright it's actually bitter sweet for me; i've been crying since yesterday . found out that my boyfriend is talking to another female more then just friends wise :'( . i gave him my heart, body and soul. every little piece of me he had, so to get this news by my best friend was blah . i didn't wanna cry but the tears kept on building up. this isn't the first time he's done this . back in 2007 he cheated multiply times. but im the type to give second , thrid , fourth chances . he told me he changed and i took his word . it's been two years since we last spoke to each other so what was there for me to fear . . . i forgot ; it was a broken heart. my heart tells me be with him ; your still in love but my brain was like fuck that nigga don't forget what he has done to you, once a cheater always a cheater . . . damn i was an idiot and chose my heart . now im here suffering with the same wound i thought once close . now i wonder "what is love" or if it's really out there. we were talking about having a family, getting married, moving in together once i complete college. damn i planned my whole "life" with this nigga and this is how he repays me. mind you he's the overprotective jealous husband. but then he has the balls to go around and cheat but gets mad at me when im chilling with my best friends,girls, or my male friends. he gets mad at me if we can't see each when I put in the effort more than his ass to see him, but he can see the girls he's talking to and leave in the background ; on his time . . . we were suppose to last forever . " 02.14.07 & 03.20.09 doesn't matter the date because our love is ever lasting " i see it was only me ready to ride & die for him . i wanna stop crying . i'm stronger than this but when it comes down to him he's always winning. i am wifey material, why cant he see it. they say love is blind but damn nigga i'm standing right here; beside him. i thought the love we had was real and he can't seem to grasp on something so good. * im crying and cant see the freaking computer screen * . i know i deserve better , everyone tells me i do ; that i'm worth so much more... but of course i don't listen thats how deep i've falling . i'm trying soo hard to enjoy my week. just remember 032009 always&forever .

thanks to my boobies : melvin april tanya shaya steph josh regine melissa [ i.L.Y guys & for being there for me ]
special shoutout to martis : damn i just met u but your definitely a caring guy to just sit and talk to me about my problems ; i actually thank you for being there for me already . ily toooo !

P.A.I.N is one of the tattoos that i'm gonna get in the nearr futureee . means alot to me ; stands for Power.Agony.Independent.Nurture .
but martis this the "p" should stand for passionate . so it has two meanings in one . those words describes the life i've had for the 18 years i've been breathing and i'm blessed by God's grace and plan to still be living.

pictures will be uploaded throughout the day . don't worry about me ; i'll be ok . . . . . . . . . . .

- god bless .

Random.

i'm so curious on love. damn i really just don't know. it's joy but then again it's pain? but anywho this blog is definitely dedicated to the babe reggie. lol he inspired mee 04 15 baby boy is turning legalll , then 04 16 kimsterr is legal as well . poor regine is turning 17 on 04 17 , lol i love these peopleees .

but damn serious moment now . the husband is slacking on his part :( . it's getting me extremely frustrated right now ; but he's a college cat so i sort of understand at times he might be busy and i respect that truely but damnn push me in your schedule too :( . yeah yeah i know i'm extremely busy at the moment with college course . work . senior internship going on i try my hardest to see him . again i really don't wanna be the only one putting in effort . cause shit sucks . lol . hmmm eek i got twisted with jamal on 04.11.09 lol ; it was definitely fun though . thank goodness he came to rescue me from borednessssss . blah * im getting my tattoo and navel pierced . again . lol

song of the month : my love from the dream ft mariah carey .

random i know but it had to be said :) . anyways father and i patched up our relationship . which i really appreciated it because i do love him . ummmm i wonder what i'm getting for my birthday . lol come on it is the biggg ONE 8 ; party . . . erm idk . new york . . . hell yeah lol .

ha ha ha we did our senior prank on good friday . it went awsome of course ; we're just that class . aint no one do it better like we do . { `O9 } oh yessss . so this boy " no name " asked me what makes my world go . . i couldn't answer because i honestly didn't know . . . i lied lol too much to write down but priority is God . family . friends . school . $$$ = sneakers NikePrincess . and they say i'm the reason why NIKE was made . which is trueeee . i ain't complaining .

i love my life . there's nothing i can complain about really . i'm extremely grateful to have the people i have with me til this day . and also the people who has past away made changes in me that i never thought i could make. i love being me . Raimatou Kimi Christiane Nadege Salawu .

- goodnight america .

Blues.

wow so much things happened during the month of march . but i became too lazy to blog about it . well hmm i go back out with xavier :) . things didn't work out so good in 2007 but hopefully 03.20.2009 is forever :) .then 03.21.09 rbk past away * rest in peace love . i past senior debate which was soo stressful . lol umm old friends started appearing back into my life ; while current ones started fading away . . . whatever doesn't matter because it's all about familia . escuela and the true fews ; they know who they are :) . but ummm for the past two days i've been feeling horrible . . . why you may ask . well my baby hasn't really spoken to me like that . . so i'm gonna give him the space he deserves and continue doing me ; cause i'm not gonna be the only one this relationship to actually want it to work . . . i told him i don't need or want stress in my life especially my senior year .

omg i turn that legal 18 status on april 16th :) ; i'm extremely excited and so is everyone else . lol i'm adored i know :) . then april 17th i get out of schooooool . word so close to graduating :) i love this life of mine .

don't tend to use facebook like that . . ugh sneaker addict still . . . of course . but going to bed with a headache & heartache . luckie me right ? will be updating pretty soonnn .


- goodnight america .